Part 1 of a 2 Part Series,
January 2026
This is counterintuitive: Drug testing is not “the secret of our success,” but it’s the most important reason we are not failing. There’s plenty of advice on what business attributes one should cultivate in order to achieve success, but there’s not all that much about how to avoid ruining things with one very large error of omission
I operate a professional telephone answering service. Do the details that concern me concern you and your business? Probably.
With 45 employees total, Centratel Answering Service provides message taking and message delivery for doctors, veterinarians, HVAC’s, hospice home health agencies, trade services and a variety of high and low-tech service companies. Based on very specific statistics, we’re the highest-quality telephone answering service in North America. We have very low staff turnover and extremely long client longevity. Our profits are consistently good; we pay our people nearly double what they would get elsewhere; we provide competitive pricing to our clients; and, in an industry with a reputation for marginal quality, we offer the best quality available anywhere.
Friends ask, “how do you do that?” One would think hard work, perseverance, innovation and plain dumb luck would be major factors, and that’s true – they are factors – but it’s not just because of those things: I say this because, compared to me, there’s no shortage of smarter, harder working, higher educated, more fearless, better connected, and more attractive and engaging personality types out there – who fail.
Let’s get “outside and slightly elevated” and look at this differently, assuming one has everything necessary to succeed, including all of the above attributes, a fantastic product or service, a terrific marketing plan, and an eager market. Despite everything being perfect, what could sabotage success?
Very simple: stoned employees.
Don’t scoff yet. Following is an excerpt from my book Work the System: The Simple Mechanics of Making More and Working Less. It’s an explanation of why it’s difficult for us to find people who qualify for employment but, on the other hand, why we keep great employees for a long time. (And “keeping great employees for a long time” is certainly key to business success.)
Why Can’t We Find Employees?
It was our greatest challenge: Centratel’s pay and benefits are very good, but no matter how aggressively we advertised our positions, we didn’t have many qualified job applicants. Because we had a hard time finding good people, we were fortunate that we had little turnover. However, the irony of simultaneous recruitment challenges and staff stability is understandable. If one digs down a layer deeper, it becomes clear why we had problems finding high-quality job interviewees—and why we have high employee stability. It’s our drug-testing policy, as posted in the Employee Handbook.
Before we instituted drug testing, we had plenty of job applicants, but there was high staff turnover.
A person who uses drugs is flighty, and a flighty TSR means call- handling expertise achieved through long-term experience and unham- pered focus won’t happen. People come and go, physically and mentally.
Today, our seemingly improbable conclusion is that only a limited number of service-industry job candidates are drug-free, especially in Oregon, where cannabis and the possession of small amounts of heavy drugs are legal.* It’s a painful, almost unbelievable conclusion, but we operate on that basis because the statistics bear it out. The choice seems to be, ‘I’d rather smoke dope at a minimum wage, no benefits, and a no- future menial job than not smoke dope at a job where I could earn more than double the minimum wage, receive full benefits, and have a manage- ment ladder that is begging to be climbed. Ouch.’
“Many business owners understand the truth of this, so they don’t require drug testing. Of those who do drug test, it’s a gamble. There was a restaurant in Bend that had to close its doors after an impromptu drug screening of all its employees. The restaurant owner had to terminate employment for nine of their twelve people. Another business located in a town near Bend, a new big-box store, selected twenty people for ts automotive department. Sixteen of the twenty failed the subsequent drug testing. (Clearly, management did the job-awarding/drug-testing sequence backward.)
“At Centratel, did our decision to use drug screening stem from an outside and slightly elevated perspective? No question. Per our strategic objective, we looked down on our complex answering service business and decided we couldn’t reach our goals without a stable, clear-thinking work- force. No matter what else we might do to bolster the company, stoned employees will deep-six everything.
“We decided to trade the madness of high staff turnover for the staid challenge of finding drug-free people who are steady, fantastic performers. There was no other choice if we were to become the best.
“Today, our staff stability is rock-solid, with employee tenures up to thirty-four years.
“I’ll add this here, and yes, I’ve touched on this elsewhere in this book: After four decades immersed in business it is my contention that, in Western culture, drug ingestion is the largest social problem of our time. Compared to ten years ago, have you noticed the rampantly poor service quality just about everywhere? Of course you have, and it’s largely because a high percentage of the workforce is stoned. It’s that simple.
“At Centratel, based in the destination-resort [party] town of Bend, Oregon, we have stopped advertising for employees because, and I’m not kidding, we can’t find young people who can pass our initial drug testing. I am not exaggerating. To some degree, it’s pretty much the same every- where. If you run a business, not paying attention to this drug abuse factor is a mistake.
“To be sure, the introduction of a drug-testing policy must be handled with care and supported by a well-thought-out, written policy.”
*Most Illicit drugs became legal in Oregon in the spring of 2015. This was part of the reason that Diana and I decided to sell our Bend home and commercial building to make Kentucky our permanent residence. (But note, the Oregon state legislature recriminalized hard drugs in early 2024, citing a precipitous upswing in crime and vagrancy.)
Next time, in Part 2: How We Drug Test.
